As I am revising my first essay on whether art is a waste of time or not, my main objective is to stray from the traditional 5 paragraph essay that I am so accustom to. My body paragraphs are mainly summary, summary, idea and I need to reorganize that around my own ideas. I can’t just reiterate what everyone say’s from their texts but instead I need to use my own ideas and use the text more as just supporting evidence or contradicting evidence. If it is contradicting evidence, I need to make sure that I have points to disagree with the argument.
The steps I plan to take to achieve this goal is to first cut out my main 2 body paragraphs that really summarize both of the texts instead of having my own ideas. Its going to be hard because I spent a lot of time creating this rough draft and now I am basically just deleting my two body paragraphs but it has to be done to better my text. I will still be using the same ideas from the body paragraphs but I need to make sure that i’m not just summarizing the two pieces of literature. The next step I plan on taking to better my text is adding a paragraph about the Peter Singer pond analogy. I did not see that the analogy had to be included into the text that was on the syllabus so I really need to make sure that I include a paragraph about how the pond analogy relates to the EA’s theory of replaceability.
The biggest challenge that I will face is cutting my two paragraphs. I believe it will be very hard because I put so much time into them. Another challenge is going to be how I summarize the text around my own idea’s. This is going to be hard because normally in high school, you summarize the text to make sure the reader knows what you as the author are talking about and then putting your ideas into the essay that either supports or contradicts the literature.
If a challenge arrises that proves too difficult for me to solve on my own then my first source of reference to be looked at will be the book, The Little Seagull. If that doesn’t help me out, then my next resource will be to set up an appointment with SASC so they can help me out.
